GREATEST THINGS EVER SAID ABOUT MARRIAGE

• "Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries." --Mike Myers, as Wayne Campbell in "Wayne's World."
• "Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." --Theologian Joseph Barth
• "The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast." --Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• "Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested being hip." --John Lennon, in 1980
• "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up." --Barbara Bush
• "We have had long, really difficult times, but we have enough lust and respect. We're lustily respectful, respectfully lustfull" --Paul Newman on his 45-year marriage to Joanne Woodward
• Well, she does my laundry and she does a good job, so she must love me. I'm a beast, aren't I? No, I'm kidding. What does she do to make me feel loved? Everything she does. Every now and then she looks at me and I think, Wow, she loves me." --Matthew Broderick on wife Sarah Jessica Parker
• "There's something about marriage that I don't like. The idea that Kurt gets to be my boyfriend is a sexy choice. It's incredibly fascinating." --Goldie Hawn, on her 20-year relationship with Kurt Russell.
• "Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife." --Shelley Winters
• "There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye-to-eye keep house as husband and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends." -- Homer, The Odyssey
• "I shake my head at these people who get married for a few years, then say their careers are pulling them apart. Hey, you get married for life. You make it work." --Sharon Osbourne
• "What do you expect me to do? Sleep alone?" --Elizabeth Taylor, who has married eight times.